13-year-old pressures friend into spending $80 on her birthday present after she told her she can only afford to spend $40-$50: 'Keep in mind, we are not that close of friends.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Nov 14, 2025 8:00 AM EST

This girl needs to stop being so picky and start being grateful.

You can't expect your acquaintances to get you a spectacular birthday gift. It's silly to even expect birthday gifts from people you aren't that close with after a certain age. If you're older than 12, you should just be grateful that someone you're not particularly close to would choose to spend time with you on your birthday at all. 

Unless your mom has no idea what to buy you and is begging you to send her ideas for a birthday present, you shouldn't be picking out your own birthday presents that others are supposed to give to you. A birthday is not a baby shower or a wedding: they do not require registries, and it'd be strange to have one. You are at liberty to give people ideas of the kinds of things you'd like for your birthday, but if you're demanding that the people in your life give you specific, expensive things, you probably need to get a grip as soon as humanly possible.

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  • Small girl outdoors in garden in summer playing with balloons at a celebration
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The teenager in this story is celebrating her Bat Mitzvah, which marks a significant milestone in her life. She might expect some big-ticket birthday presents from her family and close friends, but she shouldn't expect them from some random girl from her class with whom she never really hangs out.

  • My friend is pressuring me to get her a lot of expensive things for her bat mitzvah, but my family wants to save for Christmas. Now she's mad at me.

    Yesterday I asked her what she wanted. She said makeup or clothes, but then she said she will send me sonething she wants!
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • My friend (13F) invited me (13F) to her bat mitzvah this Saturday! Keep in mind we are not that close of friends just regular friends/mutual.
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • I was totally cool with that. Later today, she texts me what is my budget? I told my mom and my mom felt bad since it is her bat mitzvah, but we're saving up for Christmas so we don't want to get something too expensive.
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • My mom felt bad and said 40-50 dollars. I told her this and also told her she could go a tiny bit overbudget If she had to.
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • By this I meant 5 dollars. She sent me 2 $40 items from Hollister, (A skirt and a sweater) She asked what color to get the sweater in so I just thought she meant pick one of these options to give to her.
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • Sweaters hanging up at a store
    via Markus Winkler

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Today in class she asked if my mom had bought the skirt and sweater yet. I told her not yet, confused if she wanted the skirt too, but it was double the budget for both things.
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • She got mad and said they were having very expensive decorations and free food, and you might even win a free sweater.
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • I told her later today since we're saving up and it's out of the budget I gave her, that we would just be able to get the sweater.
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • She also said you said I could go overbudget, but I reminded her I just meant 5-10 dollars, not 40 dollars overbudget.
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • So when I got in the car, my mom said they were out of stock for the sweater,so she got her a 50$ Hollister card, which is a lot of money.
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • I texted my friend this and she instantly replied, how much is on it? I told her 50$ and she hasn't responded and it's been a few hours.
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • It think she's mad but it's not really fair because she's inviting like 100 people, so she will get so many presents, and I don't know her THAT well to be dedicated to giving her a 100$ gift lol.
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • Person holding a blue gift card with a white background
    via Thalia Karr

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • It's also Christmas season! I don't know what to do! What do you think?
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • PeepholeRodeo Send regrets for the Bat Mitzvah and remove this garbage person from your friend list. NTA.
    via u/PeepholeRodeo
  • OP Equivalent-File3412 Thank u! Yeah idk how to lol but I'll try!
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • Jewbacca_429 NTA. You're 13. Skip the party and find better friends
    via u/Jewbacca_429
  • OP Equivalent-File3412 Thanks!!! I will
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • Scenarioing "we are not that close" \---the invite is an obvious gift grab. Decline to attend.
    via u/Scenarioing
  • OP Equivalent-File3412 Ok thanks for your help!
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • KiwiAlexP NTA your friend is being greedy. A $40 gift is more than enough
    via u/KiwiAlexP
  • OP Equivalent-File3412 Thank u!!
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • Embarrassed-Scar2783 Your "friend" is not your friend. I bet her mom would be super embarrassed that she's using this event as a free shopping spree. She's definitely showing you how not to act. Have fun at the party but please don't feel pressured by this person to contribute anything more and DO NOT APOLOGISE. NTA - hope you and your family enjoy the Christmas you're saving up for.
    via u/Embarrassed-Scar2783
  • OP Equivalent-File3412 Thank u so much! Everyone is so nice wow lol I'm kinda surprised!
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • NTA StoresoesKanlkkeAlt You don't get to decide what people gift you and for how much, it's not up to her to act like she's ordering gifts through you. You're 13, I think $50 is very nice of your mum. $80 is expecting way to much. She is being greedy and selfcentered. Is she expecting $80-100 from all 100 guests?! Like wth? Ask yourself this, if she wont talk to you because she doesn't appriciate you giving her $50 for her birthday is that really how a friend acts? Easier said than done, but I'd
    via u/StoresoesKanlkkeAlt
  • OP Equivalent-File3412 Thanks so much.
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • Dishtothefish NTA but your friend is one. Seriously ungrateful, you don't need to feel bad at all as thats what your family can afford and your 'friend' is trying to take advantage. Please don't apologise to your friend for this behaviour as you've done nothing wrong and it this ends the friendship then you're better off without someone so ungrateful and who doesn't appreciate your family finances and generosity.
    via u/Dishtothefish
  • OP Equivalent-File3412 Ok! Thank u so much! U don't know how much that means to me! Yeah I just felt bad because she is turning 13 lol, but yh! Thank u!
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • PresentationUnited43 Sometimes people at that age think about what they want instead of what's realistic for others to spend. You were kind, you offered a very generous budget, and you even got her something nice. If she's upset, that's on her, not you. You did the right thing, and your gift was more than enough. NTA
    via u/PresentationUnited43
  • OP Equivalent-File3412 Thanks for your help!
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • k_rock48 Why are you even talking about what you are gifting? Quit bringing it up and talking about it, there was no need to get into such detail or even tell her about the gc. Do you discuss everyone's gift before you purchase it?
    via u/k_rock48
  • OP Equivalent-File3412 Oh no sorry! She just wanted to send me a link to smth she wanted and I thought it was a bit expensive! I don't usuay do this!!!
    via u/Equivalent-File3412
  • Competitive_Ninja668 Your "friend" is a greedy little monster. I'd stay home and lose her number.
    via u/Competitive_Ninja668

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Tags

friendship teens gifts birthday birthday party gift card teenagers friends gift sweater birthday present skirt daughter mom money store
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